For Now
by theVoiceInsideYourHead
Summary: Sequel: Nothing hurts quite as much as unrequited love the second time around.


For Now

_A Kyou Kara Maou Fanfic _

A/N: A sequel to my story, With Every Kiss. :) Yuri's reaction to Wolfram's choice. Heartbreaking, really. I couldn't help myself :))

* * *

It made me cry.

As much as it pains me to say it, it made me cry. It made my heart pound a hundred times a minute. It made my heart break apart and bleed out all over the dirty ground. It made me wish that I had never met you and given me all these memories. All these painful, aching memories of a wish.

A wish for a future that would never be.

And that hurt. It hurt more that anything in this world. It broke me, seeing you smiling as if nothing had happened. It broke me, seeing you fulfill your dream with a different person. I felt betrayed. You had betrayed everything that we promised each other. Even if everything was just an accident.

I don't even recognize you anymore. Despite that, even the smallest of glimpses of you makes my heart bleed a little more. Every little glimpse breaks me a little bit more.

How could you do this to me? How could you stand there and _smile_ while I lie here, my eyes red and swollen from tears, thinking if I could ever find it in myself to forget and be happy? But I know it's my fault. I was stupid. I let the best thing that ever happened to me go. I let true love slip through my fingers. That's the hardest part.

It's not fair. It's never going to be fair. Nothing ever is. Yet I don't feel any anger... just regret. Regret that I let you go. Regret that I chose to be stupid. Regret that I didn't fight hard enough. But most of all, regret that I didn't chose you over her.

Because Sofiya isn't you. She never will be.

But the die has been cast. The lies have been said. And we can never take them back. Not any of it. It's done. The moment has passed. And no matter how long I cry, scream and _bleed_... I can never take it back. You will never choose me. Not this time.

It seems love does tire out in the end. When the hurt becomes too much to bear. When the hurt overpowers everything, love will never be enough. I may be bitter but believe me when I say that love is overrated. Happy endings don't exist no matter how much we want them too. Dreaming of a happy ever after is just setting yourself up for pain.

Mind-numbing pain. _Everything_-numbing pain.

I was there, you know. During your wedding. I saw everything. I saw your smile, a smile you used to give me every time you saw me. I saw you whisper the words 'I do' and I felt my heart break. I saw you seal the ceremony with a kiss... and I left. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't.

That was when I realized that Sofiya would never be enough. That she could never replace you. That she could never _be_ you.

She knew as well. The moment she saw how much she looked like you, she knew. Blonde hair... green eyes... it was too much. But I persisted. Sofiya grew angry as the years passed. She knew that she would never match up to you. She knew that even though she wore the ring and the crown, she would always be a stand-in.

The next best thing. Because you would always be the first. You would always be the one that got away. The one that I could never get over. The one who I loved. The only one I ever will.

One day she will leave and I will be all alone.

Wolfram... I'm sorry.

Even if it's a hundred years too late... I'm sorry. There's never a set time for new beginnings but even though ours has passed, I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I wanted you to feel a little bit of my pain.

You felt this once, I know. I'm being selfish but I can't help it. I'm only human. You've suffered and so have I. Until now I still wish that I could bring it all back. I still wish for the day that you will leave him and choose me. I'm not above begging, Wolfram. When I comes to you, I'm ready to give everything up.

Even if that means leaving.

Even if that means letting you go.

Even if that means letting you be happy with someone else.

I'll have to live with it.

Because these are the consequences of my actions. These are the results of the decisions I made. This is exactly what I deserve.

One day I'll move on. You know I will. Just like you did.

But for now, I'll relish in everything that could've been.

For now, I'll sit here writing this letter.

For now, I'll watch.

I'll watch as the tears pour out and my heart breaks a little bit more.

Tomorrow I will leave, Wolfram.

But I wish you every happiness. You deserve it.

* * *

PS: It's been a really really long while since I've written anything. Finished this a few days ago. College was much too stressful for me. And I was lazy. Forgive me? I have summer classes too because my course requires it. Gahd. Review lots!

Samie-sama

_April 18, 2010. 11:30 PM_


End file.
